Steve's blog

Well, seeing as Tony and his missus are up to it, I figured we'd better get working on one too...

This was taken a few weeks ago now. I will have a new scan to show you soon. Exciting, init?

Look! It's me, but little, taken circa 1986, when I was just three-score-and-five months old.

This is a screen grab from a set of family cine films I've been converting to DVD. I've done about six hours so far, and I'm fast becoming tired of video editing. To those of you who do this as a profession: I salute you. My patience isn't up to the task long-term.

However, I'll admit that it is very satisfying...

Universities, those bastions of venerability, are typically slow to respond to the technological zeitgeist. However, my employer is trying out some new and interesting things.

We're currently looking into the social networking phenomenon that is myspace, and will inevitably find interest in facebook in the future.

We also have some vids on YouTube, shown after the break.

It's refreshing to see some innovation in the HE sector!

This is Louis Johnson. What to say about Louis other than "absolute genius"?

Along with Larry Graham, Louis pretty much invented the slap bass sound you're about to hear in the following clip. It's thanks to Louis that the awesome bass I own even exists. Leo Fender invented the Music Man Stingray just for Louis. The Stingray has been revered since the late 1970s to this very day as an instrument with a perfect action and a 'proper' funk sound.

I could write for hours about Louis, but instead I will just say: "Michael Jackson's Off the Wall". If you're familiar with it, you'll know what I'm talking about. If not, go buy it. Really, it's that good.

Now watch and listen to this. It's awesome.

Ok, so he's just showing off; that was kinda the point of this instructional video. But Louis can play like this for hours, in perfect time, and totally repeatable. But he's not just about monster speed an technical jiggery-pokery. Louis also played the bass line in Michael Jackson's Billy Jean. A simple yet devastatingly effective line. And, no, it wasn't a one-bar sample. He played every note individually all the way through the tune, each one identical to the last and right on the beat. Amazing. That's why he's possibly the most prevalent session bassist in history.

Look him and his music up. I promise you'll enjoy a funk education.

Joining in the fun, I did the Golden Compass Daemon quiz. According to my own answers I'm a snow leopard. Now, that's very cool. Trouble is, you have the ability to disagree by answering questions about me. Don't you go messing up my daemon, ok?

Angie's daemon. She's a hare at the moment.
Joe's daemon. Looks like a weasel to me. Hmm...

I hate cables. My house seems to be smothered by them, especially in the usual places: TV unit, computer table, musical instruments room...

So how to tidy them up? Enter the trusty cable tie and a drill.

Here's my lounge a/v unit. Behind the drawers is a 6mm piece of MDF, quite out of sight. So I drilled about 30 holes in a line along the centre of the plate. Then I simply looped a load of cable ties through the holes, holding the cables and peripherals in place at the back of the unit. Obviously I left enough leway at each end of the cable for whatever they need to plug in to. The result: a nice tidy set of cables hidden away behind the unit instead of sprawled all over the floor, as would be the alternative.

I've done something similar with my computer table. Walkthrough and pics after the break.

A few months ago I wrote a Top Trumps game for a Reeves & Mortimer fansite. I'd forgotten about it until I noticed it on my web server this morning. Click on the card to have a game!

Eurovision Song Content. I couldn't possibly say anything about it that hasn't already been said, but I will say a few things, just or my own amusement:

• All songs (I mean all songs ever sung in the whole world) should have a jaunty little dance at the end, like Romania's songs
• There's something about Finnish goths...
• Do all Eurovision songs have to have girls playing drums in the background? The bigger the better, it seems (the drums, not girls you understand. Not that I have anything against big girls. Not at all. I'm just not into big gothic Lithuanian girls playing the timbale)
• The Ukranian song is the best thing I have ever heard. Really. I was actually giggling with joy at that amazing audio-visual delight
• Tara-du-day du-dara dara-du-da
• Ok, you're from Ireland. We get it
• Thinking about it, why does every song have to have someone hitting something, empyong massively over-exaggerated arm movements and throwing their heads back in some sort of pseudo-musical ecstasy? Or rotating something?
• Moby really let himself go
• Hats! So many hats!
• That Macedonian bird...
• I'm a fat, long and greasy-haird, slightly scary-looking, soon-to-be-middle-aged bloke. Even if I could sing (which appears not to be a requisite for Eurovision), I don't think I would be the best advert for my country. Why do most European countries this is the ideal specification for their artists?
• Slovenia and opera don't mix
• Singing camply gives you the license to be filthy
• Despite Terry's assertion to the contrary, the Moldovan singer should not pull her trousers up

I posted this before the announcement of the winner, so here's my prediction:

1. 1) Ukranine
2. 2) Latvia
3. 3) UK

"What! The UK in third position!?" I hear you cry. I know, but that was a seriously catchy song. Plus you could see a little bit of the girls' bras, which helps. And it is a very, very gay song...

I'll post the results later. That's right: edge of your seat, please.

[Edit] Oh, see, now I just look stupid. The final result was:

1. 1) Serbia
2. 2) Ukranine
3. 3) Russia

Steve <X3 Eurovision

Eating a nice roast dinner whilst watching the F1 race from Barcelona.

Anyone who knows me knows that I'm rather into motorsport, so F1 is, of course, a mandatory part of my weekend every other week.

Over the past couple of years I've been using the live timing application available on the Official Formula 1 website. It really adds to the experience of watching the race (and qualifying) as you can see what everyone is doing, not just those being shown on TV.

The live timing system is exactly the same as the one the commentators use, so when they start talking about 'green' or 'purple' sectors, you'll have a better understanding of what they're talking about.

My prediction for the race:

• 1) Fernando Alonso
• 2) Kimi Raikkonen
• 3) Lewis Hamilton

Massa for fastest lap, but he will make a mistake or two...

I've been working on some code to build a hierarchical menu system for PHP-driven websites.

I needed a flexible system that meets the following requirements:

• submenus build themselves gradually based on the branch currently being viewed (Windows Explorer style)
• the ability to separate menu levels, so that, say, the top level can be shown independently from the sub-levels
• a master menu file that can be edited in a basic text editor, and is visually obvious to people who don't necessarily understand multi-dimensional arrays
• outputs valid XHTML code (you wouldn't believe how unique my litle script is in this respect!)

I'm no programmer, but the solution I came up with is rather neat. Click here for a demo of the system.

The underlying PHP code is available upon request.

Inspiration from Joe's blog

An exploration to morph the unmitigated experience whilst not experiencing dimensions usually regarded as output of the neo-con dadaists.

My month long study of dust has inspired me to transform a cerebral vacuum without deconstructing reproductions usually regarded as effluent of the abstract expressionists.

A contemporary reponse to transform a cutting-edge patina which led me to a further venerating sounds usually seen as musings of the sequence.

My work reveals an inner calm, whilst also allowing us to de-objectify a respective dialectical opposition whilst always reproducing performance art standards of inventions of the fluxus movement.

Warholian and simultaneously Hogarthian, my work has developed in order to encapsulate the sacred signifier which led me to a further challenging calculations often seen as musings of the post-modernists.

Captions provided by the Art Bollocks Generator.

Here's the wee l'il bebeh at 22 weeks. Over halfway through now...